Midlife Crisis at 20 Years Of Age

My 20th birthday...one of the most depressing days of my life. 

It was a long time ago but I can still remember it so clearly like it was yesterday. Gone are the endless carefree days and infinite dreams of the teenage years, and time seem to be passing faster than ever now to rob me of what was left of my youth. All my friends don't understand why I was so depressed on my birthday, I guess they just don't get it...maybe they were the lucky ones.

Imagine knowing these were probably the best times of your life, and watching the clock as each second ticks by, relentless, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. You know when kids say they can't wait to grow up? Older people will always say you don't know how lucky you are to still be young...well I knew...turns out knowing makes it worst.

Some might say isn't it better to realize now rather than when you are like 40 and the prime of your life is long gone, at least now you can do something about it, maybe try and live your life to the fullest. It just doesn't work like that, having a massive feast might keep you full for a little longer than usual, but eventually you will always be hungry again, and there is no appetite like the hunger for life. Having the most exciting life might leave you full of great memories to reminisce about, but reminiscing about happy times is just as painful as regretting the bad ones.

If life is like a roller coaster then at 20 I am on the ride, but rather than enjoying the best part of it, I am looking at the younger generation queuing to get on, envious that they still have the best part of their life to look forward to. Even though they are not yet on, they are still buzzing with excitement, of hopes and dreams of what awaits them. At the same time I am depressed knowing that soon the roller coaster ride (my youth) will be over, and I will join those people who have been on. Sadly in life I can't rejoin the queue, The closest feeling I will ever get to being on the ride again is reminiscing about it with other people in my situation...those for which youth is only a fading memory, but one that seems impossibly more real than anything in the present.